The Cure for Ennui – Discovered!

DO YOU SUFFER FROM L.O.P. (Lack of Passion)??

L.O.P. can be self diagnosed.

Symptoms:

You are bound to your home.
The TV ensnares you. You are drawn into other worlds instead of inhabiting your own.
The internet draws you in with so many temptations, far more than before its existence.
You want to devour everyone and everything. Media is a black hole you swim into, willingly.
You believe people who are famous – just because people know who they are, just because they are charismatic. You listen to them more than you listen to yourself.
You have a completely structured life. You do the same thing daily, and then you force yourself to smile.
You do nothing for your own pleasure.
You eat things that come in packages and go in microwaves.
You adhere to a set standard of living, and an aesthetic chosen for you.
You have left your childhood self completely in the past and cannot remember what it is like to be free.
You are a curmudgeon.
You only see the bleakness of the world.
You drown yourself in vices, to cope with things you don’t realize are stifling you.
You only see the mainstream options for life. You do not ever consider alternatives.

The new drug FOMS (Fear of Missing Something) is now available. This drug has been known to have the following side effects:

You will say yes to almost any experience.
You will quit jobs and leave relationships that don’t squeeze your heart and make you swoon.
You will sleep so soundly because you’ve depleted all your energy from living.
You will eat copious amounts of fresh fruits and foliage.
You may experience lightning in your brain.
You see beauty in every corner of your reality.
You are vocal and rally against the horrors around you.
You will long for the days of childhood and teenage years, when devious behaviour is more accepted.
You will not care if your behaviour is accepted.
You will cultivate an intense desire for knowledge.
You will start to see threads leading out from normal life, that lead you to amazing people and wanderings.
Your desire to travel will become unbearable.
You will want to document everything so you can share it with others – or – you may want to keep it all to yourself, a delicious secret.
You will want to spread love wherever you go.
You will want to kiss with wild abandon.
You will want to be lithe and naked and roam free on hot beaches amongst coconut trees.
You will want to move so wildly that your body never stops swaying.
You will easily attract many other companions, divine lovers, and glistening amigos.
You automatically become glowlingly beautiful
You believe in wishes, and magic.
Your religion becomes self-worship.
You create things that people want, and admire.
You become yourself, a deviant visionary.

Please do not take FOMS on an empty stomach. Take with water, luscious mangos and blueberries. Take FOMS upon rising from a complete night’s sleep.

FOMS can be self-prescribed, and taken at any time – no rules apply.

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