A New Year? Who Cares? Life Resolutions.

Getting Tattooed, Dec.22/12 – My Birthday.

I intend for this year to be my year of freedom.

To break ties with things and people (at least in certain ways) that do not allow me to be my fullest self.

I do not blame ANYONE other than me for feeling like a watered-down version of my True Self (and I have been reading about this, sort of, through someone’s graphic novel version of her own therapy, and it is poignant – I love the word poignant).

I think that ALL of my anxiety over the last year stems from the anxiety of ONE issue, one that has been gnawing at me for a year or more. It is time to deal with it and move on, despite how painful it will be.

I have some resolutions/goals, etc, for the year. I don’t like making typical “resolutions” as they don’t tend to stick. The main one is a LIFE resolution, and really the entire point of my new tattoo.

I also want to get the word “Free” tattooed on me. I want constant reminders. And I think that knowing I am creating my own cages is really what is driving me mental – it’s always me, of course, I blame no one else.

LIFE RESOLUTION: To be my True Self. To feel free, in whatever choices I make. To LIVE, fully, always, and never let money get in the way.

Stumbled on this a few moments ago and it is so perfectly in tune with my current mindset. I must read Alan Watts, as I have meant to for several years and he keeps being pressed into my consciousness from several directions.

I also have some goals:

+ To get back into photography. Every time I see someone’s gorgeous photos, or them walking with their cameras (and obviously GOOD cameras, that take vivid, wonderful shots) it makes me wonder why the hell I stopped. Also, I would not charge people for photos, unless they hired me. Ever. Not digital ones, anyway.

+ To make my blog into an actual money-accruing website. My step-dad knows how to do this, and offered to help me. I had no idea. I lost interest in learning how to “make websites” in terms of coding and whatnot, long ago. I find it dull.

+ To travel, despite money and despite anxiety.

+ To get a VAN, and have it be my little caravan all over the place, a mobile bedroom.

+ To produce large ink drawings, life-size portraits, full-body.

+ To finish my zine, which should be complete VERY soon. I keep saying that but it’s almost done.

+ To begin writing my novel. It’s been in my head forever.

+ To have as much intense, passionate sex as possible.

+ To read more books than blogs or FB posts.

+ To intricately chronicle my life in my journal (I have been doing this, it is wonderful – I always have, but not in such exquisite detail).

+ To stay on a fruity diet, as that is when I feel best. A fancy raw-food diet is easy for me now.

+ To work on my comic.

+ To rid myself of even more STUFF.

+ Write, write, write, write, write.

It seems like a lot, but these are things I want to do with my life, and things i CAN do, especially if I eliminate a lot of distractions. Also, I don’t expect myself to DO all of this in a year. Just start. Just move forward with them all. Then in 10 years or whatever, forever, it will all add up and I will have a lot to show for it.

I have other things I plan on changing, in all other areas of my life. So much needs to change, because I want to align with who I am, totally, utterly. Don’t you?

No WHAT Without WHY

Wants are going to fizzle out, or go nowhere, without WHYS.

What do you want? Why do you want it?

I always wanted to be happier, healthier, fitter – but I never stuck to it until I had a real reason, and one that was really important to me – or even a life or death thing, like changing my diet.

I had no degenerative disease (that I know of, but things percolate for years before showing up, usually) but I was so mentally distressed that I was at a point of wanting to kill myself, which had never crossed my mind before. I didn’t really want to die but sometimes it was so incessant that I really believed I did.

So there was my reason – I wanted to live, and in order to do that, I had to get healthy, and I knew my diet was the place to start.

But now, my goal is to be even healthier. In fact, last night I realized my goal was to be “Healthy as FUCK.”

But why? Why am I suddenly able to stick to an exercise routine, especially jogging/running which tends to bore me after 5 minutes? I can push past it now and enjoy it.

This is a really good thing to break down for ANY aspiration you may have – be like an obnoxious toddler and ask WHY until you get to the DEEPEST reason.

I already know why I want to eat well. So, why do I want to be fit?

To be healthier, leaner, stronger, more youthful. For longevity.

Why?

So I can live longer to experience more. So I can say YES to anything and be able to keep up. So I can look great for a very long time. So I will be self-sufficient and mobile until I die. So I can escape people who want to harm me. So I can be capable and independent.

Why?

So I can experience more. To be happy. So I can take part in more things without getting tired. Self-confidence.

Why?

So I feel like I am really living.

Why?

To feel free.

Generally all my goals come down to the same thing: Freedom.

And why do I want freedom? Because I want to really live – this flips back and forth: really living, freedom, really living, freedom, etc.

So I know those are my base reasons for doing pretty much everything.

I learned this method a long time ago in a little class I took, and we ended up writing our “Why” words on wooden boards (mine was Freedom), and then over a half hour we revved ourselves up and learned how to break the boards with our hands. Once you do that, you feel like you can do anything! I kept that board for years, and it was a good reminder that my ultimate goal was freedom, so I can do all the things I REALLY love to do.

I am not completely free – true freedom in North America is a complete illusion – but I am definitely on my way, and I have a lot more freedom than most people I know, because I focus on it.

To know the WHY is a good way to figure out if your desires and pursuits are even worthy of your time. Your base reasons may be completely frivolous and you won’t even know it – you may realize that you want something for such a backwards reason – like buying shoes because you want to be loved, or wanting to go sky-diving so people think you are brave, but those are not really things you want to do for your SELF.

So what is your WHY?

Maps + Update for May

I find that getting motivated and sticking to goals requires some SPECIFIC goals.

Like when I initially went raw, I had a timeline for myself:

Feb 1st, 2008, vegan, no refined sugar. Every week I would cut something else out – tofu, rice, potatoes, bread, other sweeteners like cane juice, etc.

April 1st, 2008, 100% raw vegan.

It worked, I stuck to it. I’ve had some little ups and downs but generally I have been raw for over 4 years with some minor blips. And I have never returned to refined sugars, cheese, cakes, etc – nothing like that. The worst I got was some baguette in Paris.

And so it is June 1st – I have been low-fat for the whole month of May, with the exception of today – it was a bit of a celebration, and also a good-bye – a good-bye to potatoes (which I used to help me stay low-fat this month, occasionally), and a good-bye to salt. I have been eating it way too much (I
don’t want to eat it at all) and I can push out my stomach so far that I look pregnant – that’s how bloated I am. When I gave up salt before I lost 10 lbs in a week.

Now I am dropping the salt. I am keeping low-fat and back to 100% raw.

I am also very proud of my exercise dedication this last month, and my chart has really helped – I took it seriously and wanted to make sure I filled it as much as possible. This was doable because I had very specific goals instead of “I want to be 80/10/10″ – why? Without a why, I had no real reason to stick with it.

This last month I have discovered the following:

With low-fat, I get ZERO menstrual cramps. I finally found out the mystery of why I have had awful periods since going raw (everything else improved, that got worse – I had no issues with menstruation before raw, only after).

With low-fat…I can run.

Seriously, in my whole life whenever I have attempted to run, or jog…I lasted a minute at most. When I was trying to be a runner in 2000, I never improved much – I could go 30-60 seconds and have to take a break. This month I was inspired to go jogging and would improve every time. At first I could only go a minute without a break. The next week (I only went every couple of days) I could do 5 minutes without stopping – this for me was amazing.

Two days later (doing nothing on those two days except some arm weights) I went 20 minutes with NO breaks – I was BAFFLED. All this in two weeks of going every 2-3 days. I improved so much, and felt so good, that I started to ENJOY jogging. Now I WANT to go. Now I WANT to be able to do it for an hour! A new goal!

And why am I exercising? To be fit. To have a lean body. To stay healthy. To have strong bones. To have good endurance. To work out my heart – it’s a muscle, and it needs to be worked. To move lymph fluid. To prove to myself I can do something I thought I could NEVER do.

Also when I am low-fat, my skin is better. When I have no salt, my skin is better and my stomach is leaner. So is my face. Food tastes better. I can eat lettuce by itself and it’s amazing. Avocado starts to be delicious without anything added.

And on and on.

Which brings me to the map.

Along with my simple chart, I thought it would be fun to have a simple map I could just add any goal to and then mark specific steps over the month – this way I have something to follow instead of being all haphazard – maybe some people can just be like “Okay, this is this and I’m doing it” – for me, I like to have a basic idea to follow.

Little steps are much easier to reach, and to break down a big goal to small steps makes it a lot easier to get to the “end” – the whole reason I managed to run that 20 minutes the first time (which I would have thought impossible, especially since my max before that was 5 mins) was that I just kept saying “Okay you can make it to that tree…okay now you can make it to that driveway…okay now make it to that post” and eventually I thought…wow, I am almost at Oak street! Maybe I can make it there! Then I did, and I thought holy crap, I am still moving! Maybe I can make it all the way home! And I did.

ALL BECAUSE I USED POSITIVES – not “Oh god, I can’t do it, I’m so tired, omg I need a break” etc – I pushed myself maybe 10 steps at a time, and focused only on those 10 steps, and that got me all the way.

I have no doubt that I can reach one hour now. Maybe not within the next week, but that is my new goal for the next month or two – I am going to stretch it to two, but if I do it before then, AWESOME.

Same with my diet – over the next month I want to really simplify it – first week no salt, and any combo of fruits and greens, low-fat. 2nd week, still no salt, no fats, 3rd + 4th weeks, mono-meals of fruit, salads in evening, low-fat every couple of days.

In July, when it’s blueberry season, I want to do a week of JUST blueberries. Like 10 lbs a day. Oh my god I cannot wait.

I also want to drink 2 litres + of water per day and get as much sleep as possible, earlier the better.

I am going to photograph my physical progress and write down my daily and weekly changes, then share them at the end of the month.

~~

Regarding the rest of my goals in the past month, I did quite a bit of writing – I only missed 12 days of the month for writing fiction, and I only missed 6 days of writing for the blog. I only missed 5 days of exercise. I stayed 80/10/10 (with occasional potatoes) 30 days of the 31 – today being my bye-bye to salt and fancy foods. I had a bit too much fat today! Oh well.

So, bye-bye to May! I enjoyed you and the first sunny days of 2012. June is going to rule!

~~

I have been finding this guy’s videos hella inspiring.

Why Health is Imperative to Passionate Living

Anah (Hoopalicious)

When you are feeling lumpy or in the gutter, do you feel like going after your dreams?

Do you feel up to jumping around and banging on drums, or do you feel like going to bed and watching Game of Thrones while downing a bag of Cheetos? It’s hard to muster up the energy or enthusiasm to break open your head full of powerful intentions when you can barely bother flossing your teeth.

This is the best reason to aim for health. Without the full vigor you could be feeling, how do you even know what you are capable of?

I had no idea I could do some of the things I have accomplished. I still did things when I was relatively okay, mentally (in a former, healthier mode, I managed to save up money for a 5 month trip to Australia and New Zealand in a few months), and once in a while I would get a verve to create some amazing things – but those were shortlived, and my energy drained. My cloudy gloom started to flow back and mar my visions, making them seem useless, pointless, and one more person amongst billions – so why bother!

Wrong. When you feel real, TRUE health, you feel the sparks of life. It’s impossible to imagine unless you’ve felt it. When I first felt it, it was like being high on E or something – and I have chased that initial vigor ever since.

But jeez, what a horrible thing – to be chasing health! To know that it is a NATURAL feeling and not just a fake thing brought on by chemicals – this is SO powerful.

The euphoric buzz is a well-known phenomena in the raw food world, as is the constant chasing of it – but here’s the thing – it comes and goes. However, there is a constant state of well-being anyway. Even when you aren’t floating around and thinking everyone is beautiful and we really live in paradise, you still see mostly goodness, and you really feel it in yourself. You believe that you can succeed in whatever it is you do.

When you believe, is when you try, and when you keep trying, and get through The Dip, that is when you really shine.

April: Progress Report

So, my April was so-so.

I was pretty good on the diet front, not good at all with exercise – LAME – one day? Pfft.

I think this is because I have not been paying enough attention to my chart, and I had some depression issues again – thank gad the sun is coming back. I am going to rethink my anti-vitamin-D-pill thing and order some vegan ones if I get in a bind again, or just continue going to the tanning place.

ANYWAY, I have been feeling grand.

This month on my chart is:

D – diet – this time meaning 80/10/10 and not just “raw” – raw for me is easy-peasy. So, now I am just doing it gung-ho, my only other food included being nori, just at first. I love nori and yes, it does look delicious to me seeing it on a beach, and yes I could make a meal of it – sometimes I will eat a whole package on its own. I’m also going to do what I did when I initially went raw and that is to stick to it 100% for 30 days and see how I feel (I felt so awesome that I knew it would be for life). I took a “before” picture, too, so I can show my progress physically!

W – writing – this meaning in my blog or in my journals. Mostly I want to write in this here bloggo (I hate the word blog but it’s a funny sounding word at least).

F - this meaning writing FICTION. I stopped setting a time frame for myself – this was becoming too daunting and I always wanted to do other things and would get distracted. Now I just plonk myself in front of the page and write with no real agenda. If I write for 5 minutes, it counts. If I want to write more (and I usually do), then yay! It all adds up.

E – exercise. Of some sort, every day. Exercise is never a waste of time – in fact, I LOVE to exercise. Sometimes I forget this and if I push myself to just start (same with writing) I often want to keep going.

Something awesome I noticed yesterday was this:

About 12 years ago when I lived on Vancouver Island, I decided I wanted to see if I could become a runner. This was one thing I said I would “never” be able to do, and the quote “You must do the thing you think you cannot do” would repeat itself in my head, and so I decided that because I had a lot of time on my hands, that I would start running. There were a lot of gorgeous parks and forests, so it was quite lovely to go out and have this goal. I also had seen my reflection in bad thrift store lighting and was appalled at my appearance, therefore starting me into health + fitness madness.

So I started walk/jogging and could not go for very long with the jogs or runs. I wasn’t eating very well of course, and limiting my calories, still eating fish and bread and whatever else – lots of chocolate chip rice cakes. Eventually I got bored with it and went back to my sedentary hobbies. I didn’t seem to improve much, either. I could go a minute or so and would be so out of breath – this had happened since childhood and I would do everything I could to get out of running track or anything sporty. I thought I had asthma and had an inhaler that I used once – I thought it would allow me to run or exert myself more – it did sweet fuckall.

So yesterday I decided to take my dog out and go for a jog. I used to go out walking quite a bit last year when I lived near some beautiful trails. This was one reason I went so much – now I don’t live near anything but big expensive homes, so to go somewhere pretty I have to drive first.

ANYWAY, I took my pooch out and started to jog – and I just kept going, and going, and going. And even if I got a bit winded, I took a break. I only needed to break for a few seconds and could go more.

I realized that there was a huge difference even from last summer, when I was still eating heavier raw foods. I have been far more outdoorsy and sporty since I went raw, but lowering the fat in my diet has been an even more amazing aspect. Last month I was eating salt and heavier foods again, but I have recommitted to the low-fat approach. I just feel better on it. I feel more energized and clear and SO creative. I want to feel that way, always. I also want to be lean, and eating salt and too many nuts makes me bloated! Yuck. (I have been so bloated I thought about taking an April Fool’s photo because I looked pregnant).

Watching Freelee and Kristina on youtube really makes me motivated. So does Durianrider, listening to Doug Graham, and all sorts of raw foodists. I am constantly inspired.

And so my little chart is going to be the pinpoint for my goals – so far it’s kind of been off to the side of my desk, but I am going to make it more of a focal point of my day – something I do before bed. I am also making myself go to bed earlier – it’s tough because my body rebels – as I am falling asleep, I realize it, then wake up

Another thing I’ve been doing is starting my morning thinking about things I love about my life – positive things – this is what I do WHILE I am still waking up (my grumpiest time of day) – also I have made it a point to stop complaining. A few years ago I read a book called A Complaint Free World that really impacted me – it’s pretty hard to go a whole day without complaining, let me tell you! (Try it). But I have been pretty successful, and something I noticed about when I was doing these things before, is that I was a LOT happier.

It’s much easier to make goals in spring. I say let’s make our yearly resolutions in April or May, when we feel renewed! If you live in the Northern  Hemisphere, I think you’ll be more likely to succeed with “New Spring Resolutions” instead of new years’ ones. Just a tip

~~

If you like my chart, you can download my blank one here!

Beauty Amongst Chaos

There are days where I just feel flat.

I don’t mean chest-wise (cuz I don’t care) – but just…blargh.

I’ve had a lifetime of teeth issues, and no matter what I eat, I will continue to have issues because of the bombardment my teeth have taken over my life. So I won’t blame fruit, or raw – actually they improved going raw, so there.

Anyway, it was a few weeks of dental appointments, and today I just had enough. I got into a “why me?” mode and said eff it to everything and just binged on kale chips (could be worse…) and sat around watching Sailor Moon and Game of Thrones.

Not really my style. I tend to be a doer, EVEN if I am watching something, I am working on a project of some sort (like my zine that has taken me years – it’s almost done).

Eh, anyway, my point is that even though I get this way at times, I know it’s not going to last. Usually I am upbeat + positive and in a pretty lofty state.

Ever hear that idea that people are afraid of their own power, and that they are more afraid of success than failure? I think I am in that state.

I have this series of books in my head, these amazing characters that I think about all the bloody time – and the idea of writing them scares the crap out of me, because I know they would be epic, and the length and time and care I would need to take in order for them to live up to what I’ve concocted is absolutely daunting.

I have to do it, though. I think about writing sprees all week, when I am working – I feel like when I get home I need to just hunker down and write. But then I get distracted by something – this is the downside of being so fascinated by everything – I am what Barbara Sher calls a “scanner“ – though I do get in states of obsession. When I finally enter that state, I am unstoppable.

I can be obsessed with many things at once – and I get so flustered and baffled at how to do it all that I am overwhelmed, and just end up reading or something. Often I act. This is why I am so in need of work that allows me to be free of a schedule – when not at a typical job, I am constantly working on projects – I don’t feel restrained by time, and so things flow so much more easily. This work needs to be writing! And so, I write, as always. Either here, on paper, fiction, memoirs, letters, little comics, zines, lists – anything. It is constant.

More often in winter is when I get flustered,  from a lack of sunlight and lowered spirits. I know how to combat this now and it is why I have continued with this blog instead of giving up like I have in previous years. I just push, now. I think to myself, “Who the hell cares what anyone else thinks? It doesn’t matter if you feel like poo – write about feeling like poo. Do it anyway, any sort of criticism won’t matter tomorrow, or in the grand scheme of things. None of this matters” – and it really doesn’t. One day, everything anyone has ever created will be gone. We will all die. Humanity will disappear. That does not mean that we should not still procreate and make beautiful songs and books and it does not mean we should not treat one another and ourselves and other creatures with immense kindness and respect. And so I say what I want, and I want others to believe in themselves, too.

We are all really good at something, and anything we love, we can do.

I have always envied the people who can obsess over one thing – they tend to be the most amazing, shining examples, the inspiring ones. But there are others who are great at many things and those are the ones I relate to. When I am really into something, I stick to it, too. I have always stuck with writing, drawing, and within the last few years, healthy eating. If I still lived near waves, I would have stuck with surfing – man, do I miss it.

When it comes down to it, the whole reason I want to be healthy is so I can continue to have the energy and confidence (and happiness) to continue, because otherwise, I will just look at the world and think “Why fucking BOTHER?”

But I know why I bother – because this is reality. We are alive, we’re here now, we might as well enjoy the beauty amongst the chaos. There can never be enough beauty.

~~

“Sometimes I get a little sad, and I feel like being alone. Then I talk to my cat about it, and he reminds me I’m James Franco. Then we dance.” — James Franco

The Desire for Immortality

It’s exhausting and frustrating being interested in (almost) everything.

But I can’t stop.

I wear an ankh necklace for a reason. And I actually want one tattooed on my wrist. As a reminder that I am NOT immortal, and that my time is finite and I need to make the most of every damn minute I have. I don’t really  have time for a “regular” job (but I do try to make the most of my time when I am there, plus I am surrounded by lovely people and masses of knowledge).

So much to do. I know I post about it often, but I really do not understand how anyone can be bored. There is so much to do, see, revel in, taste, smell, drink in, love up, dance upon, swirl in, dive into, fondle, make love to, swim through, feast your eyes on, share with lovers, read, imagine, create.

I get so immersed in things. I read all I can. I want to take part in so many things yet much of what I love doing requires solitude. I don’t go out much anymore and this is going to change. I gotta get out there again and experience real life. Winter is so great for nesting with books and whatnot, but when spring hits I feel renewed and more social. Is it time for me to get amongst my old friends? It’s been about three years that I have been in this modality – I have phases of solitude and massive social behaviour that last a few years at a time.

If I could be immortal, I would be. So many people think it would be a horrid thing. Not me. I want to live as long as possible which is part of my reason for living and eating how I do. Even if our lifespans are getting longer, what is the quality of life for most people living to be really old? Probably not that fantastic. I would rather live a completely badass life and live fewer years than until 120 stuck in a nursing home.

First sign of immortality potion, sign me up.

What are some things I would do if I could live forever?

(I know I can do most of these things anyway)

+ Well first of all, I would write a fuckload of books. Books are my saviour and lifeline and blood and guts.

+ I would want to make films.

+ I’d ride a motorcycle around the world. I’d row across oceans.

+ I’d have a whipsmart band and spew lyrics like a banshee.

+ I would generate the most gorgeous photos I could concoct in my head.

+ I would grow fantastical gardens that take over whole cities.

+ I ‘d have a Pied Piper entourage of dogs.

+ I would have a brood of amazing children who make the world a better place.

+ I’d be the most epic surfer.

+ I’d build a treehouse studio to draw huge beautiful ink portraits.

+ I’d amass a harem of lovers.

+ I would heal as many people and animals as possible.

+ I’d read every beautiful phrase ever written.

+ I’d travel to every country and soak in its luminous qualities.

+ So many countless things I would do. So much I could learn.

Our brains are so endless. We use, what, 10%? I want to fill it up – and I know that is beautifully  impossible. And so I could do it forever, filling and filling until I burst – and that would be my moment of death.

Back to the stars. Back to the ocean. Back to the earth. I am already a part of those things, but having a body and having a mind is the most gorgeous gift of all. Don’t take it for granted.

Live it up.

Like Omigod, I Could Just DIE

I don’t want to have time to waste.

I don’t wanna be at the end of my life going “DAMN, I wish I’d done that, cuz I sure had time.”

You know what would be even worse than getting to be old and accomplishing nothing? Dying in the next few days, or in a week, or a month. Then you’d really lament your situation, if you had time to think about it.

It’s tragic when people die young, especially when they are exceptionally talented – it’s even worse when they die because of suicide, or drugs, or whatever. It’s such a waste.

I think about death often. Not because I’m morbid, but because I really want to live, man! I want to be an old pink-haired banshee on a motorcycle thinking: “Shit I had a good fucken life. I lived the hell out of every second!”

“I’ve had 72 absolutely flaming years. It (the illness) doesn’t bother me at all, because, you know love, when you’ve lived like I have, you’ve done it all. I put all my effort into living; any dope can drop dead.” – Vali Myers.

People don’t like to think much about dying because it’s scary. But WHY is it scary? It scares people because they don’t want to give up their pleasures, or they still have things they want to do. Do them NOW, so you don’t ever have to be in that situation! Even if you die young, you will have at least spent your time putting a good, creative energy out there. You will have been fulfilling your spirit instead of just distracting your brain , which the majority of people tend to do with TV, gossip mags, etc.

This ties in with people being “bored” – you don’t get to be bored, man. There is 10 gajillion (a real number, okay?) things out there to be interested in. If you can’t find something fascinating out there, you need to get out more. You need to isolate yourself until you are able to amuse yourself.

Guess what! You’re gonna die, and you never know when. Yer gonna be pissed at yourself if you have been playing video games all day and then you are pulverized by a mack truck tomorrow. You could have written the most glorious poem of your life, you could have sent love letters to your family, you could have rescued an injured bird, you could have drawn something inspirational, you could have danced your heart out all night with friends, you could have scaled a small mountain, you could have had your first surf lesson, you could have ravaged your lover until they collapsed from exhaustion, you could have learned something that helped you feel more at peace with yourself and others, you could have skateboarded until your knees were on fire.

I could go on and on. Don’t waste your precious moments. Whatever you love most, spend your time doing that – any spare moment, dedicate it to your passions.

Lifting Facades and Being Selfish

I think selfishness is great.

Not in terms of saying “eff you” to everyone you care for, but in the majority of things in life, doing what YOU want above all else is paramount to living a life of purpose and adventure.

Screw the majority. Yes, keep close friends and loved ones high on your list, but even then, when it comes to YOUR most important ideals, no one should be able to stop you.

There is the old adage of not being able to help others before you help yourself (or love others before you love yourself) – and it is very true. Yet most people are under the delusion that others can make them whole, or help them heal.

I’ll give you an example.

When you’re sick, you go to the doctor. What sort of health is your doctor in? Are they robust, bursting with energy, vitality, fitness? Do they ask you about your diet and lifestyle? Do they ask about nutrition at all? Do they KNOW anything about it at all? Can they help you without writing prescriptions or shilling drugs?

Really be wary of who you take advice from. If they are not getting results you would personally want, then run, quickly. Find someone who knows what they are talking about, or be very still and listen to your intuition.

This also goes for listening to advice from others about situations they themselves have trouble with.

When you take care of yourself first, that is when you can start to dispense wisdom to others. Otherwise keep your mouth shut! Send them in the direction of people who do know what they are talking about.

Generally over the last few years, I have told people to read certain books instead of giving them advice – I was (and still am) learning. I have only recently felt like I’ve reached a point where I feel I have a good enough base knowledge, enough self-respect, self-love, and real knowledge to share.

When you love and do things for yourself, you feel so good that your energy precedes you. Wherever you go, you glow, and people notice this before they notice you. They will then want to be near you, want to know your secrets, and trust you, because you have what they want.

You won’t get into this state without being selfish. You must do everything it takes to be the whole person you are, under all the toxic bullshit we’re exposed to daily through food, air, water, and negative people and images.

You might have to shun certain people who you care for.
You might have to change careers, or move.
You might have to leave your relationship.
You might have to tattoo a reminder on your wrist.
You might have to delete all social media.
You might have to demolish your microwave.
You might have to throw your TV out a window.

It doesn’t matter what you give up – it matters what you GAIN.

Be selfish and true to yourself – you will have so much more to give once you are being who you really are.

Facades are for scared people.

~~

 

Photographer of above image: unknown.

Boredom Ain’t Real

For me this is a landscape and a time to bank up courage in a craven heart, to carry a greater fund of joy into the next cloud of sorrow, to learn even to love sorrow for the pleasure it divides, like the black notes on a keyboard, or hunger between meals. Perhaps even to discover that pain and pleasure, since they cannot exist without each other, are really the same thing.

- Ted Simon (Jupiters Travels)

I will never understand the phrase “I’m bored.”

Have you looked out at the world around you? You now have so much right in one place, too. As much as I get turned off by the negative aspects of the internet, the epiphanies I have had never would have happened if not for the magic of a little screen and pixels.

The words “If you’re bored, you’re boring” really ring true. The only times I can recall being bored are when I have been really depressed due to a heinous lifestyle, or when forced to be bored by a workplace (it only lasted so long – I quit – boredom is that painful to me – phsyically painful!).

Boredom isn’t actually a real thing. It’s a state, not an emotion. The reason you are bored is because you are stagnant and not moving forward. Life is ALWAYS moving forward, so if you fight against it, you are going to either think nothing is going on (because you are seeing the reality of “boredom”) or you are going to wither and die.

Creative people are never bored. There is a reason for that – it’s momentum. Flowing along with life.

There is no doubt in my mind that there are things you want to do with your life, that you want to spend your time doing, and that you fantasize about accomplishing. Work on those things – it probably takes less energy from you than whining about being bored does.

~~~

“‘I’m bored’ is a useless thing to say. I mean, you live in a great, big, vast world that you’ve seen none percent of. Even the inside of your own mind is endless. The fact that you’re alive is amazing, so you don’t get to say ‘I’m bored.’”
- Louis CK