Wildling Manifesto

I’ve decided that whatever I do, it has to be wild.

When I think, I must give it a huge push with passion, past my comfort zone, because that’s where the truth lies.

Whatever I create, it must be done with emotion and devotion, so that it speaks on its own without me.

Whatever I write will flow with the weight of my entire heart.

Whatever clothing I buy and wear will scream my soul.

Whatever love I give will be mighty and knock you down.

Whatever sex I have will be banshee-powerful – lust will sweat out and creep into the pores of my lover, assimilate.

Whatever kissing I do will be fiery and ecstatic, deep and longing. Sharing breath.

When I dance I will close my eyes and let music pulse my heart instead of blood.

I will decorate myself like a gypsy pixie grungy macabre demon pin-up tart, because it’s all me, what else can I do?

I will yell wildly, but only love, or ferocious anger.

I will be as kind as a person can be, because that is the most powerful and freeing.

I will fuck in forests and plunge deeply into mountain pools. I will ride the scariest rides and spill face-first down muddy slopes and water-slides.

When I eat I will devour, I will groan and fully taste each morsel. I will eat in a way that lets this crazy energy flow through me.

I will run just to feel wind.

I’ll live with my mind open. I will look into the eyes of whomever I meet. No small talk, all large.

When I sleep I will dream the dreams of shamans, the dreams of the fully alive, and the dreams of the dead.

Everything I love will be spoken, if not with voice, then in how I live.

When I cry I will wail, I will gnash my teeth and grieve like the damned.

Full-emotion, “too intense” – but it is the REAL ME, fuck it if it scares you to see someone be fully human. EMBRACE IT.

 

~~

Photo above of Vali Myers

Project: Full-Body Regeneration

This is now to be my mindset, my full-attention, my real health journey.

It has been a very swell, continuous journey for 4.5 years. I’ve had bumps, and frankly I am tired of them.

Have you ever heard that all the cells in your body are replaced every 7 years? Well then, I should be well over half-way there, and so clean and wonderful I would have a staggering level of health. I see this in the long-term fruit-lovers, the raw darlings who really do things the right way and barely sway, or do not deviate at all. And this is my true aspiration.

My bumps have been few up until the last year or so, and they’ve been more frequent, and I am fairly sure I know why – there is a lack of pleasure elsewhere in my life, something I am working on – filling myself up with more friendship, passionate fun, and dancing in the moonlight on rocks by the beach, lightning hula-hoops and vibrations from others all around me, long meandering walks in the dark. I am filling myself more, giving myself what I really need, and not holding back. If I feel compelled, I follow, and I am finally unencumbered by anxiety. The last couple of months, pushing through it and having good experience after good experience – this has released me, and I am feeling fuller, more myself, and less inclined to fill a hole with things I know are not ideal for me.

Victoria, BC, Sept. 2012

Once I came to this conclusion, I knew that it was the real reason that I’ve been tempted, because for my first two years of raw foodism, I really never had any desire for cooked food. It was unappealing, it brought me down. But over the last 2, I have had more lapses, because I have had more down moods. I always regret it – the gut-ache, the disappointment in myself.

However, even being very, very high raw, and high-carb (I’d say I am 100% raw, 95% of the time for the last year), my mind has been very clear, and I am able to dig deep into my head, especially once I get it all out on paper. Obsessive writing, documenting, dreaming, hoping. This revelation, of filling other needs with “bad” foods, just came to me a couple of days ago.

Sometimes you just need the right situation, the right JAB, to wake you up, and bring a real spark back to your eyes.

Eating fresh fruits and vegetables, moving your body, sleeping soundly (and enough), copious hydration, loving touches, hugging, friends, dancing – all of these things will keep you young, vivacious, vivid – and most importantly, will allow you to live, fully, instead of just existing.

Never ignore your true needs, whatever they may be. And so, I want to know what sort of joy and bliss I will feel if I am 100% raw, 100% of the time.

Over a period of 7 years, you truly become a new person – who will I be? What will I be capable of? What about you?

What is your highest potential?

I know I want to reach mine, and I only have one life to do it – same as you. Don’t waste it!

The Importance of Obsession

I think that to get the most out of life you have to be obsessed with what you love.

Otherwise you just dip your feet in, get them damp, then dry off – boring. Fucking dive in, man. Get soaked. Be completely drenched. Immerse yourself until you are absolutely covered, annihilated by your dreams. Let them overtake you.

Do you notice that the people you admire are the ones who obsess over what they do? It’s never the people who sort of have a dalliance with something they kinda like – those people tend to be mocked. The really admirable ones are the ones who obsess, who swallow their passion whole, without teeth, but who will bite down on something as soon as it appears so it won’t escape.

They will stay up for days, not eat, and will sustain themselves purely on what they love. They will ignore all else. They will live off scraps so they have all time to themselves.

They give up the less important things. They only hang out with people who support them. The ones who don’t, get spat upon or laughed at, or simply brushed off. Whatever, you say, my life, my love, is most important – otherwise what am I here for?!

You may live for something completely different than everyone else, but you have a passion, a talent – even if it’s for something you think is not “important” – just know what it is you love, and what it is you obsess over – and let it take over your brain.

For me, if i have something i love, it’s all i focus on. It could be a person, a book, a drawing, a project – and the things that get forgotten about are things that fall aside, to make room for the important fascinations – the ones that always return, even if i take a break – the ink drawings, the delectable words of books, the luscious fruits, the crashing waves, the prose and memoirs, the dogs with their wiggling butts. They are all my heart-thumping obsessions.

Sometimes, like anyone, i forget them – either I am so tired I zombify, or I am deadened by winter. I start to think nothing matters. But when I constantly barrage myself with inspiration, at all times, I then recall my former passion.

When you are forgetful, this is when it is most important to obsess. When you are depressed, this is when it is most important to treat yourself with the utmost care.

When you really want to do something, and it’s not natural to you, you MUST obsess or you will not make it natural – things become fluid and easy when you just throw yourself in, all or nothing. Breathe it, inhale it, suffocate in it. It will become as ingrained as a cavity. It may fade, and if it does, just push yourself off that cliff again and save yourself with immersion.

Pursuing your passions is part of this – to deny yourself your lifeblood, your brain candy, is like telling the universe to fuck off.

I realized last night that all religions are based on the fear of death – none of us want to die, and so we focus (if that person has a religion) on how to live “properly” so that we can have a nice afterlife, because we don’t want to die. We’re all terrified of it. In order to transcend death, leave your legacy behind – do something with the life you have – even if you transcend death, you will no longer have a physical body to enjoy earthly pleasures. Even if you reincarnate, you will be a different being with a different experience.

And so, who you are now – you must express that. You are only YOU, once. In THIS body, once.

Obsess, create, love, in only the way YOU can, right now, this lifetime.

The Best Poem

And here I share the poem that always kickstarts my brain and spirit.

 

Roll the Dice
by Charles Bukowski

if you’re going to try, go all the
way.
otherwise, don’t even start.

if you’re going to try, go all the
way.
this could mean losing girlfriends,
wives, relatives, jobs and
maybe your mind.

go all the way.
it could mean not eating for 3 or 4 days.
it could mean freezing on a
park bench.
it could mean jail,
it could mean derision,
mockery,
isolation.
isolation is the gift,
all the others are a test of your
endurance, of
how much you really want to
do it.
and you’ll do it
despite rejection and the worst odds
and it will be better than
anything else
you can imagine.

if you’re going to try,
go all the way.
there is no other feeling like
that.
you will be alone with the gods
and the nights will flame with
fire.

do it, do it, do it.
do it.

all the way
all the way.

you will ride life straight to
perfect laughter, its
the only good fight
there is.

the one and only life

Every moment made vivacious.

Every drop of food sustenance or pleasure.

Every cent towards adventure or basic necessity, or complete and utter ambrosia.

Every second an education.

Every word uttered: useful or interesting, funny or poignant.

Every kiss passionate, every touch meaningful.

Every lover ravaged.

Every hug savoured.

Every dream attempted.

Every creature respected and treasured.

Life a grand playground, dreams a decadent escapade, every atom inhaled used to chew the marrow of the day.

One Words: Consume

I am a consumer.

I consume luster, and begonias.

I delight in butterflies, dandelions, waterslides.

I devour watercolours and diamond capped mountains.

I breathe in the air on the crests of waves.

I eat up nectarines dropping off branches.

I lick the sweat of lovers.

I let my eyes and brain decipher letters on paper into stories and lessons and I swallow them forever, they become a part of me.

I dive into oceans and wade with fish.

I will swim along with the sharks instead of harming them.

I bear witness to the horrors of life so I can avoid contributing to them.

I beautify myself with plants instead of buying potions to disguise the symptoms of faulty living.

I buy that which actually fills me up instead of that which is only a temporary bandage.

I notice the small things, I slow down, I focus my attention on things no one ever sees,
the miniscule, the lovely.

The consumption of life is so much better than the consumption of objects.

I Want to Do Everything

I need to cast off “jobs” and gain “EXPERIENCES.”

I need to turn sleep into an imagination factory – dreams into drawings, dreams into novels. dreams into music.

I need to bless every second with conscious OOMPH. i need to fire up every moment with a zing that it would not have otherwise – those zings are always there – neurons and atoms and little crazy invisible things happening, if we tune into them we can jump in and  ride their carpets – dancing and flipping cartwheels on top of radio waves.

It’s time to ride the wild ribbons of life, people. put on a cowboy hat and prepare to hang on, because when you are truly living, you end up naked, vulnerable, and absolutely glowing.

Raw vs. Cooked: Pain and Pleasure List

Why I Don’t Eat Cooked Foods.

+ They make me flush and feel hot
+ I sleep horribly
+ I get massive bouts of gas
+ I need salt to make it taste good, and salt sucks
+ It causes leukocytosis and my body is like WTF?!
+ It doesn’t have any nutritional value
+ It disrupts good digestion
+ It makes me feel tired instead of energetic, so I don’t feel like exercising
+ It gives me brain fog
+ I don’t like cheating or sneaking around, acting like I’m doing something wrong – because I know that I am. So really I am hiding it from myself.
+ If I have one bite, I can’t stop. It’s addictive.
+ They make me bloat, BIG TIME
+ They make me break out
+ They take away my glow
+ I feel sluggish
+ I don’t feel as vibrant
+ I feel guilty
+ I ALWAYS, EVERY TIME feel like puking it up. Not due to guilt, but to just feeling gross. This is BAD. The worst symptom of all.
+ Seriously, the gas. EMBARRASSING.
+ Makes me get mucus build-up. I always get a runny nose.
+ Gut-ache!
+ Acidic response in the body, and on the teeth.
+ Life seems less fun.
+ Nightmares.
+ Brief, stabbing intestinal pains.
+ The food is DEAD.
+ I feel irritable and want to lie down.
+ Less motivated.
+ Sallow skin.
+ Rashy area on my cheek comes back.
+ Urge to pick at my skin returns – EVERY TIME! BAD.
+ Grumpy.
+ I feel heavy.
+ Constipation.
+ I’ll be less inspiring to others if I don’t stick to my lifestyle.
+ I have a more angry demeanor.
+ I feel BLAH.
+ Unhappy, gurgling stomach, even from something completely simple.
+ I feel pukey.
+ I’m not as committed to myself and my goals when I slip-up.
+ After a few bites it is always DRY, BLAND, and UNDERWHELMING. It’s never worth it, ever.
+ It is a waste of MONEY. You’re paying for dead, nutritionally-deficit food,so you’re paying for nothing except everything listed above.

WHY I eat raw food!

+ I feel jubilant, naturally!
+ Lean bod!
+ No bloating.
+ I feel light, and fast.
+ I sleep really easily, and deeply.
+ I am fully committed to great health and a rad life.
+ It’s fast and simple.
+ It’s inspiring to others.
+ I feel accomplished.
+ It’s more delicious.
+ It is insanely nutritionally dense.
+ I feel naturally friendly.
+ I smile more.
+ I am more patient.
+ I feel like running around and moving my body.
+ I’m kinder to other people.
+ I am more open and loving.
+ I attract happier friends into my life.
+ I feel super clear, mentally
+ I have more imagination and drive.
+ I feel SUPER self confident.
+ My skin radiates.
+ More youthful appearance.
+ No worries of illness, short or long-term. No colds, flu, or degenerative diseases.
+ I don’t get bladder infections, ever.(used to be chronic)
+ Strong immune system.
+ I am well hydrated.
+ My digestion is awesome (5-6 times a day for #2, and lots of urine, clear).
+ It’s easy to find fruit, ANYWHERE.
+ Super vivid dreams
+ Super motivated
+ Able to assimilate all nutrients due to lack of mucus.

There are endless reasons for staying on a raw vegan lifestyle, and tons of reasons to give up dead, cooked foods. No matter what, up the percentage of raw foods in your diet and you will REAP the benefits! They are endless!

This is a list I wrote a while ago when I was having some cravings during winter time and slipped up – recently I have felt urges again and so wanted to revisit this list to remind me to stick to my fresh, ripe, raw, whole, organic fare

A Purpose For When You Feel There’s No Point

Aimee Mullins

Are you obese, or depressed, or really sick?

Do you feel like you have no purpose, do you think you are useless, whatever, no good, a waste, that you have nothing to offer anyone or have no purpose in life? That you are just gonna waste away and nothin’ you can do about it?

I can tell you a purpose. You can be an inspiration.

For me, who is already slim and fairly fit and very healthy (I wasn’t always!), I am most inspired by the massive transformations people have. I need to continually be inspired in order to remember how important being healthy is, how important LIVING is. I am most inspired by people who are told “You will need to take these pills forever” or “You are going to die unless you have gastric bypass surgery” or “You will never walk again” or countless other things – and then those people prove everyone wrong by IGNORING what EVERYONE says and by believing in themselves. They find one SHRED of love for themselves and hold on to it like it is life support, and they do one little bit at a time, until they get better, and better, and better, and they feel more self love, and people start noticing, and the onlookers spur them on, and so that momentum grows, and then those people start being heroes, and you can be one of those people, too.

If you are really at the END of your rope – a miserable curmudgeon, someone who is extremely overweight, someone with eating disorders, someone on massive amounts of pills for an “incurable” disease – you can change all of this and be a beacon of hope for others, to show them it CAN be done, and there is ALWAYS room for more inspiration, there is ALWAYS room for more people that show us what can be done when we ignore the bullshit and follow our hearts.

The thing is, even when what you are working on healing is “invisible” (like mental issues), people around you will notice a change – you get this glow about you. Even if you are not losing weight rapidly, your skin will start to shine and your demeanor will be sparkling. You become a magnet for good things, which becomes a whirling dervish of positive vibes. They keep coming, and that’s what makes it even easier to continue.

Your purpose, now, is to transform for the good of everyone, not just you. Start where you are, take photos, take videos, and chronicle your journey. It makes no difference if it takes days, months, or years – It will uplift someone so much that they will make positive changes in their own lives – beauty and love transform others, and then it goes on and on and on, endlessly.

THAT is a grand purpose to hold in your mind, and when you accomplish your goals, you will be free and clear and know what you are meant to do in life. In the meantime, be an inspiration.

One last thing: temporary slip-ups are not failures. Even I have days where I don’t adhere to my highest aspirations – I brush off and keep going. That is the secret of succeeding – even the most amazing people have days and moments they are not reaching the bar they have set – just try again, and you will reach it.

Why Health is Imperative to Passionate Living

Anah (Hoopalicious)

When you are feeling lumpy or in the gutter, do you feel like going after your dreams?

Do you feel up to jumping around and banging on drums, or do you feel like going to bed and watching Game of Thrones while downing a bag of Cheetos? It’s hard to muster up the energy or enthusiasm to break open your head full of powerful intentions when you can barely bother flossing your teeth.

This is the best reason to aim for health. Without the full vigor you could be feeling, how do you even know what you are capable of?

I had no idea I could do some of the things I have accomplished. I still did things when I was relatively okay, mentally (in a former, healthier mode, I managed to save up money for a 5 month trip to Australia and New Zealand in a few months), and once in a while I would get a verve to create some amazing things – but those were shortlived, and my energy drained. My cloudy gloom started to flow back and mar my visions, making them seem useless, pointless, and one more person amongst billions – so why bother!

Wrong. When you feel real, TRUE health, you feel the sparks of life. It’s impossible to imagine unless you’ve felt it. When I first felt it, it was like being high on E or something – and I have chased that initial vigor ever since.

But jeez, what a horrible thing – to be chasing health! To know that it is a NATURAL feeling and not just a fake thing brought on by chemicals – this is SO powerful.

The euphoric buzz is a well-known phenomena in the raw food world, as is the constant chasing of it – but here’s the thing – it comes and goes. However, there is a constant state of well-being anyway. Even when you aren’t floating around and thinking everyone is beautiful and we really live in paradise, you still see mostly goodness, and you really feel it in yourself. You believe that you can succeed in whatever it is you do.

When you believe, is when you try, and when you keep trying, and get through The Dip, that is when you really shine.